


i want a sip of what you're sippin' on (are you picking up what I'm putting down)

by jadore_hale



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Barista Derek, College Student Stiles, M/M, crack-ish fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:04:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7680181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadore_hale/pseuds/jadore_hale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Stiles!” Scott grabbed him and pulled him off to the side. “We’ve talked about this. You are the worst at flirting!”</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Stiles barely registered what Scott was saying. He couldn’t take his eyes of Derek. The man was ridiculous. His eyes. His perfect stubble. His big muscular arms that Stiles was dying to have wrapped around him. Why was Derek even working at a coffee shop when he had all this modeling potential?</i></p><p> <i>“Excuse him,” he said to Derek on Scott’s behalf. “He’s a little embarrassed. He wants to know if he can get your number. That way he’ll know where to get a hold of me tomorrow morning.” </i></p><p> </p><p>Stiles hitting on the new barista with his mad macking skills yo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want a sip of what you're sippin' on (are you picking up what I'm putting down)

**Author's Note:**

> Unhoarding this old fic that I didn't post b/c I didn't like it. But then I found it on my computer and re-read it and it kind of made me chuckle, so why not share. Originally posted [here](http://jadorehale.tumblr.com/post/148470627463/i-want-a-sip-of-what-youre-sippin-on-are-you)

It wasn’t every day that one walked into one’s local coffee shop only to discover that an Adonis had taken residence behind the counter. Stiles had been in desperate need of caffeine that morning but was now rejuvenated after having caught sight of the new barista. Talk about morning wood.

"Who the heck is that?" Stiles asked Scott the second he got behind him in line. They both had 8ams that morning, and even though Scott appeared to be standing and upright, he was actually half-asleep and snoring.

“Who?” Scott jumped, and Sleeping Beauty awoke from her little nap.

"The guy.”

Scott furrowed his brows. "What guy?"

He did his best to motion towards the man standing behind the counter without getting caught. He subtly nodded his head then darted his eyes in that general direction, adding a quick point of his finger, then practically waved a flag and lit a neon sign over the guy’s head, all for Scott who just wasn’t getting it.

“Oh, my god! Are you fucking blind! GQ model behind the counter!”

He watched the light bulb switch on in Scott’s brain. “Ohhhhhhhh, you mean the barista?”

“Yes, the barista,” Stiles said tersely, although the guy was so much more than that. Scott wounded him by calling him such. “What happened to Jackson?”

“Dunno. Think he got fired.”

That put a damper on Stiles’ good mood. He’d been a regular at the coffee shop since freshman year and he’d gotten to know Jackson pretty well. There were lots of reasons as to why Jackson could’ve been fired. He was late constantly, took _years_ to fill orders, and was pretty much the reason the place had horrendous customer service reviews on Yelp. Still, Stiles’ heart wrenched at the thought of poor Jackson selling his ass on the streets for mere pennies.

He couldn’t worry about Jackson for long, though. Not when the events that had led to his termination had been an act of divine intervention. The gods had spoken. Today was obviously the day they’d chosen to bring Stiles and his soulmate together. And who was Stiles to question the gods?

He must’ve been drooling. There was probably a giant puddle at his feet. The closer they got to the front of the line, the more beautiful the barista became in his eyes. It was tortuous, like waiting in a long line at an amusement park, and Stiles definitely wanted to ride that rollercoaster.

Enraptured as he was, he hadn’t noticed Allison come into the shop or walk up to them in line.

“Hey guys,” Allison said too cheerfully, giving Scott a quick kiss on the cheek and flashing Stiles a blinding dimpled smile. Allison’s biggest character flaw was that she was a morning person. “What’s up?”  
  
“Check out Stiles’ GQ model.” Scott gestured towards the counter.  
  
Unlike Scott, Allison knew immediately who they were referring to, which proved why she was Scott’s better half. She smirked as the barista thrust a to-go cup at the woman in front of them then snarled when she asked for her receipt.

"He does look like your type, Stiles," she hummed. "Tall, dark, and bitch-faced."

“Yeah, well let’s see if his coffee can keep me up all night.” Stiles winked. “If you know what I mean....”

Scott groaned. “Stiles, please don’t!”

They were next, and when the woman in front of them scurried off, frightened and receipt-less, Stiles happily took her place. He leaned against the counter, running his eyes appreciatively over the barista, vividly imagining the six-pack hidden under his apron. He glanced at the name tag pinned to the guy’s shirt, his heart thudding fiercely. He wondered how much it would cost to get _Derek_ tattooed across his left butt cheek.

“Hey, handsome,” Stiles said once he’d gotten the guy’s attention. “You’re looking very _non-fat_ this morning.”

“Can I help you?” The barista— _Derek_ —asked sternly.

Remarkable hazel eyes peered into his very soul. It was the best eye sex Stiles had ever had in his life. It felt like it was just the two of them in the coffee shop now. Everyone else seemed to fade out and disappear. The chemistry between them was undeniable. There was no way Stiles was reading this wrong.

“Stiles!” Scott grabbed him and pulled him off to the side. “We’ve talked about this. You are _the worst_ at flirting!”

Stiles barely registered what Scott was saying. He couldn’t take his eyes of Derek. The man was ridiculous. His eyes. His perfect stubble. His big muscular arms that Stiles was dying to have wrapped around him. Why was Derek even working at a coffee shop when he had all this modeling potential?

“Excuse him,” he said to Derek on Scott’s behalf. “He’s a little embarrassed. He wants to know if he can get your number. That way he’ll know where to get a hold of me tomorrow morning.”

Stiles bit his bottom lip seductively when Derek raised a single brow.

Scott made a pained noise and ordered their drinks. “Can we get two spice lattes and an Americano to go, please? And, for the love of god, make it fast!”

Derek got some cups, turning to go about making their coffees thus giving Stiles a great view of his ass.

“Is it your first day here?” Stiles asked, already immensely curious about Derek’s life, wanting to know where he’d been and what he’d seen. “The uniform is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I’d be coming too…”

Scott elbowed him in the ribs _hard_ but there was nothing that could stand in the way of Stiles’ tenacity.

“Java number I can call you at?” Derek might like a guy with a sense of humor, which Stiles had in spades. “I think I feel something brewing between us. I’m bisexual and maybe I can buy you a drink sometime and get sexual later…”

Allison sighed. “Scott, help him. He’s your friend.”

“My friend? He’s your friend!”

“I hope you know you’re on a hidden camera show.” Stiles pointed at a security camera. “It’s called _Love at First Sight_.”

Derek looked over his shoulder and blinked at Stiles, unimpressed, then turned and put their drinks on the counter, holding out his hand for payment

“Oh, look our drinks are done,” Allison sing-songed and hastily picked up their cups. Scott slapped the cash into Derek’s hand with tip then grabbed Stiles and proceeded to haul him out.

“Hey! Do you have Instagram!” Stiles yelled back as he was dragged away, cock-blocked by his so-called friends. “Because I’d double tap that ass any day!”  

* * *

 

Stiles called his dad the very next day to let him know him he’d met someone and that they were getting married. The Sheriff asked for the last name of his future son-in-law, but Stiles told him he’d have to get back to him on that.

_“So fuck, marry, kill: me, Hitler, and me again.”_

Every morning before class and sometimes even in the afternoons, Stiles visited the coffee shop. Derek was almost always there, glaring menacingly and snapping at patrons. Scott and Allison refused to come with him anymore. They were terrible wingmen and their lack of support for Stiles’ choice of life partner really hurt. Still, he kept his eyes on the prize.

_“Do you clean your pants with Windex? ‘Cause I can totally see myself in them.”_

His other friends were more than welcome to attend his wedding ceremony, however, they too showed little to no enthusiasm for his life changing news.

_“Let’s reenact the Trojan War. You get down on all fours and I’ll get inside you.”_

“He has to be stopped,” Boyd muttered behind him.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever taught him how to live in the real world.”  Erica shook her head. 

_“I’m an astronaut, and NASA says there’ll only be seven planets after I destroy Uranus”_

“Nope. We’re leaving now,” Isaac said. “Goodbye forever, Stiles!”

Yes, it was true that he was bad for business. He loitered at the counter spitting game while Derek took orders, and the people in line never seemed to understand or appreciate their slow courtship. The crowd got less and less every day, but Stiles didn’t mind because the fewer people around the better. Stiles loved watching others make fools of themselves trying to flirt with Derek who showed no interest back. Not once had Derek ever explicitly told Stiles to stop or go away.

_“Were you born on a poultry farm, cause you’re amazing at raising cocks.”_

Derek growled and griped at everyone else in the shop, but Stiles always got stellar customer service which had to mean _something!_ His coffee was always fresh and rich, and absolute heaven to his taste buds. One time, he even got latte art! It wasn’t necessarily good latte art. More like a twisted deranged smiley face. But Stiles cherished his first gift from Derek, and it was evidence of how fast their relationship was progressing.

_“You got an entire skeleton inside you. Another bone wouldn’t hurt.”_

He even got Derek to almost smirk at him a few weeks ago. It was a good thing he hadn’t gotten the full smile, yet. Derek sort of smirk already had him light headed and fanning himself.

_“Are you my appendix? Because I’ve got a pain in my side and doc says I need to take you out.”_

In all his weeks of coming, Derek never actually spoke to him very much, but these things took time, and Stiles only wanted to do things when Derek was ready. And with the caliber of the lines, he was dropping, he had no doubt Derek would be ready soon…

_“Are you into conspiracy theories? ‘Cause I wanna illumin-naughty with you.”_

_“Do you like dinosaur movies? Jurass means the World to me.”_

_“If practice makes perfect, then your parent’s names must be practice & practice.”_

_“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because UGH have sex with me already!”_

It was mid-afternoon, and Stiles was at his usual spot at the shop, leaning against the counter while Derek wiped down the machines. He was exhausted after pulling an all-nighter for his term paper, so he was a little off today. When he’d walked in earlier looking like death, Derek had immediately started making his drink having memorized Stiles’ order by now, and he couldn’t help but fall even more in love with him.

Unfortunately, Stiles was too sleepy to do much talking. In fact, he felt himself drifting off to sleep, eyelids falling shut and head drooping forward, enjoying a nice snooze before a high-pitched shrill voice startled him awake.

“Pardon me, young man? Can I get a refill?”

Stiles opened his eyes to see a tiny old lady with a walker slowly making her way towards the counter, a mug in her hand. Her eyes were zeroed in on Derek, and when she reached them, she practically bulldozed Stiles out of her way. He’d only been asleep for a few minutes, but just like that, someone was already trying to swoop in on his man. Derek would be rude to her like he was to everyone, though, so Stiles had nothing to worry about.

Except that, Derek wasn’t rude to her. At all.

He gawked when Derek smiled at the woman, picking up the pot of coffee and filling up her mug. “Here you go, Ma’am.”  
  
She took her cup from him and leaned forward to pinch his cheek. “Thank you. You’re a very nice boy.”

Dropping a few pennies into the tip jar with a shaky old hand, she left sending one last wave towards Derek who waved back, smiling brightly. Stiles could feel his heart breaking. He never got treated that nicely by Derek in all the times he’d been there. Derek turned back and looked at him, the bright smile he’d given the old lady gone from his face now that it was just Stiles there. And Stiles really couldn’t take it. He couldn’t be there anymore. It hurt too much.

“I—I have to go!” he croaked, then ran the hell out of there. 

* * *

 

He didn’t dare show his face at the coffee shop for the next few days, far too embarrassed. It wasn’t Derek being polite to the old lady that had made Stiles so upset. Being nice to old people was a good thing and only made Derek that much better in his eyes. Mainly, he’d realized that he was probably a nuisance to Derek, and clearly Derek was too gracious of a person to ask him to leave.

Drowning in his own self-pity, Stiles went to Starbucks instead. It was farther from his dorm, and he missed the convenience of his regular spot, but at least he wasn’t making a blatant ass of himself.

However, he was facing quite the dilemma today. He was running late for his afternoon class and needed to get his fix before spending the next hour and a half in a boring lecture. Starbucks would put him further from his destination while the coffee shop was on the way. Only, he knew Derek would be working that shift, although it would be fortunate if he’d called in sick, but Derek never called in sick.

Stiles ended up going to the coffee shop. He could endure the awkwardness and also not be so late to class. He slunk in through the doors, keeping his eyes low as he sped-walked to the line and waited his turn.

Thank god, he didn’t need to say anything to place his order. Derek already knew what he wanted and promptly made his drink. Stiles’ hands shook as he reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He handed over his debit card with a sad sigh, looking at Derek before quickly averting his eyes.

Their fingers brushed when Derek handed him back his card, ticking Stiles’ heart up in speed. He lunged for his receipt then grabbed his cup of coffee, and turned to sprint out the door like last time.

Derek cleared his throat loudly. “You’re welcome.”

Stiles froze then spun around, fumbling for words. “Uh…sorry. I thought I said thank you. Thanks…”

“No problem.” Their conversation seemed to be done so Stiles went to leave again when Derek said, “So why’d it stop?”

He frowned. “What?”

“The shameless flirting. You were always dropping cheesy pickup lines. Why’d you stop?”

All his blood rush to his face, his cheeks blotchy and hot. “Um…”

Derek glared. “Oh so, now you’re gonna try and deny it?”

“Er…”

“Way to lead a guy on!”

“I don’t even know what’s happening here!” Stiles cried hysterically.

Derek crossed his arms over his chest, scowling. “Then I’ll give you a chance to explain.”

“I super sorry, okay.” Stiles huffed, scratching the back of his neck. “I know you probably hate me. You’re really hot. Way hotter than Jackson. Not that I liked Jackson. He was well above average, but you’re like _a god!_ I hope I wasn’t wrong in assuming that you’re into guys because that’d totally be awkward since I’ve been sexually harassing you in your workplace for weeks now.”

A horrifying thought crossed his mind. “Oh god, please don’t be a redneck gun-slinging republican! Oh, my god! You’re going to punch me in the face, aren’t you? You know what, you should. Just please make it quick!”

He had his eyes shut tight, bracing himself for the blow that he so rightly deserved, but it never came. He cracked open an eye and saw Derek smirking at him which he hoped was a good sign.

“I’m glad you think I’m way hotter than Jackson. Because it’d make me real jealous if I heard about you flirting with him too.”

He gulped. “I’d walk right past him if I ever saw him bleeding on the street.”

“Glad to hear it.” Derek nodded then shifted awkwardly. “But you still haven’t told me why you stopped hitting on me…I missed it.”

Stiles’ eyes bulged out of his head, not sure if he’d heard correctly. “But…but you never flirted back! You made me think I was just bothering you!”

Derek clucked his tongue. “What do you mean I never flirted back? I flirted.”

“Uh…when?”

“You like the coffee don’t you? Look around, no one else here likes the coffee.”

Stiles glanced around the shop and caught a guy grimacing while taking a sip of his coffee. “Oh.”

“I give you tons and tons of whip cream and chocolate drizzle. I practically use the entire bottle. And trust me when I say no one else gets latte art. Some of these people don’t even get real milk. Also, I almost smiled at you two weeks ago.”

“I knew it!”

“Yeah, things were moving pretty fast. I thought we were getting serious.” Derek let out a dejected sigh, pouting almost. “But then you started giving me the cold shoulder, and I had no idea what I did wrong.”

“Nothing! You did nothing wrong!” Stiles grasped his hand without thinking but was relieved that Derek didn’t seem to mind, even lacing their fingers together. Stiles stared, a thrill running through him, then looked up at Derek giddily. “So um…”

“We should probably go on a date before you meet the family, right?”

Stiles threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah, probably.”

“Here.” Derek held out his other hand. “I’ll even give you my number since you’ve asked so nicely in the past.”  
  
Stiles gave his phone over, still in awe that this wasn’t a dream. He and Derek were actually becoming a reality.

Derek returned his phone and said, “My name’s—”

“Derek. I know. Your name tag,” Stiles chuckled. “I’m Stiles. Forget the name on my debit card. So…movie tonight?”

“Sure. I’m out of this hell hole around seven,” Derek said.

“Awesome.” Stiles wanted to pinch himself.

“You’re gonna text me right?” Derek raised a brow. “You’ve already been ignoring me for a month now. I don’t think I can stand any more heartbreak.”

Stiles couldn’t help his laugh. “But it’s only been three days.”

Derek glowered darkly. “Do I look like a person that over exaggerates?

“No. You don’t. I’m so so sorry.”

“S’okay.” Derek sniffed. “Just don’t do it again.”

The happiness of this moment was broken up by Stiles remembering he needed to be in class. He let go of Derek’s hand, walking backward towards the exit, butterflies fluttering like crazy in his stomach. “I’ll see you tonight!”

“Really?” Derek said, itching his jaw. “You’re not even gonna try and lay one on me? C’mon. Make it a good one.”

Stiles grinned. He was going to be super late but this was worth it.

“Do you watch Game of Thrones? Cause your name’s winter, and you’ll be coming soon.”

“God, that’s so awful.”

“Your bone structure is giving me bone structure.”

Derek snorted, grabbing a rag and getting back to work. “Nope, never mind. You can stop now.”

“Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?”

“Hey, why are your pants still on? Oops, my watch must be 15 minutes fast!”

**Author's Note:**

> subscribe to my [ao3](http://archiveofourown.org/users/jadore_hale/profile) for more of my fics! follow my [tumblr](http://jadorehale.tumblr.com/) or my [twitter](http://twitter.com/jadore_hale/) for explicit post about porn and pizza. (this is totally false advertising)


End file.
